After These Commercials! ON HOLD!
by Kyeire
Summary: What would happen if VD characters from the book watched the VD T.V. Series? Idea frdom Danielle Salvatore. WARNING! BAD LANGUAGE! RATED M FOR BAD LANGUAGE ONLY.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING! ~!#$%^&***

**BAD LANGUAGE!**

**So this may be more...dirty mouthed than I usually do, but I don't know...I felt like Stefan should be the moody one here. I hope it makes you laugh as much as it made me laugh. **

**Okay...so I'm taking on the challenge Danielle Salvatore gave up on. ;]. Although it is a one-shot, I hadn't expected it to take this long...but here is the beginning! teehee.**

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Stefan made his way to the roof of the boardinghouse. After one exhausting day of dealing with all the supernatural powers coming to Fell's Church, he decided to relax on the roof. He opened the door and nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Ah Fuck, Damon!" Stefan straightened his shirt and passed is older brother. "Are you trying to scare the life out of me?"

Damon waved it off. "Remember that one chick?" He said.

Stefan sighed, keeping from snapping at his ignorant brother. "Damon." He tried to say calmly. "There are a lot of _chicks_."

"No no, the one that did a whole series on us?" He scratched his head. "That documentor lady chick...whassername?"

Stefan rubbed his forehead. "L.J. Smith?"

Damon's face brightened. "Yeah, that lady."

Stefan glared at his brother. Damon just stared and beamed."What about her!"

"Oh! They're offering to use the book as a T.V. Series!" He waited for Stefan's reaction. It never came. "Come on! You can't deny that it's pretty cool that we're going to be in a series!"

"Yeah...okay. Cool. Now leave me the hell alone." Stefan rubbed his temples, and sat on one of the lawn chairs littering the roof.

Damon finally realized tired actions. He put on his best smug smile. "Not enough human blood, brother! Animal blood doesn't give you the strength you need if you're going to keep going back out there to 'defend'," He air-quoted the word, "Fell's Church."

"Go bother someone else!"Stefan lashed. "I really don't need your bull shit!"

Damon put up his hands in surrender. "Let me go tell Elena. Maybe_ she_ will enjoy my news more." He moved towards the door leading back into the boardinghouse. Before he closed the door, he couldn't help but throw out. "Human blood!"

He laughed when he heard something hit the door. Most likely one of those lawn chairs.

**A year later**

"Finally! I was wondering when they would start showing it!" Damon said, plopping down on the sofa. "Hey guys! It's coming on after these commercials!"

Elena was the first, and Damon flashed her his signature smile. "Hey El, come sit by me. I got a seat wating right here." he patted the cushion right in front of his relaxing body. Elena looked away and sat on the love seat. Stefan was next, still looking as tired as hell. He sat next to Elena. Elena looked at him, and said, "Maybe you should go lay down. You don't look so good."

"Maybe he should change his diet." Damon said, his mischievious look making Elena blush a little, but Made Stefan growl.

"Shut up Damon, I'm tired of hear the same shit from you."He said.

Damon just punched the couch pillow before laying his head on it.

Meredith entered, looking as calm as ever. She took the last available seat besides the ones that Damon's legs were using.

Which left Bonnie to come in without a seat.

"Damon." She said.

"Hm?" His eyes were already glued on the TV screen.

"I don't have a seat."

"Okay." He didn't even look up.

Meredith said, "Your feet."

"Are nice and comfy. Thanks for asking." He wiggled them for emphasis.

Stefan, who had been rubbing his aching forehead, yelled, "Aw Fuck, Damon! Move your fuckin' feet!"

Damon ignored him.

Elena got up, putting her face nearly right in his. "Damon?" She asked sweetly.

"Yes, Elena?" He said, his attention suddenly changed.

"Can you please sit up?"

"Are you going to sit by me?" He asked.

"No, but Bonnie needs a seat."

He didn't say anything.

"Please? For me?"

Damon sighed, but sat up. "Alright alright. I will, but only since you said please."

Meredith had her face averted, but Damon saw her shoulders shaking. He sent a wave of power to her, but it bounced of, and came right back at him, causing him to jolt back.

Without looking, Meredith pulled out her necklace of crystalyzed vervain. "Sorry..." She said, laughing even harder.

Damon pouted. "Why you-"

"Sh, it's starting."

From there all eyes were on the Television.

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**Have any suggestions? Put it in the review!**

**And please take the poll...Crucial for next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey…so I guess this I chapter two. First though, As entertaining as this is, it may not be successfully finished as I hoped. As much as I like writing this, I cannot continue, because all I've been able to watch of the series is the first episode of season one. If you are an expert(or you know the TV series story) please, this all depends on you. Please message me! I need you to help me! If you know how I can watch the episodes, please message me the website…or just help me understand what happens in each episode.**

**Okay, Chapter 2:**

"Ah! That's not fuckin' me!" Stefan said, throwing an empty bottle at the screen.

Everyone looked at him as though he were crazy.

"Uhh…Stefan? Are you okay?" Elena asked, her hands coming up to shield herself from the bottle he almost threw at her.

"Ah…" He said, his face becoming a little flushed. He left the room, muttering something about fresh air.

Damon only laughed. "He needs fresh blood is more like it…and not any kind he can find in the forest! Something about animal blood can make someone lose it apparently."

"Shut up!" She hit him on the head.

"Ah! That hurt." He said, rubbing his head.

"Good." She said, crossing her arms. "Now watch the TV and stop pestering."

"But-" He said, before another female fist made compact with his head. "Ow!"

"Shut up. I can't hear." Bonnie said, her eyes still on the T.V.

"I'll just call them love knots and say you guys love me!" He said, pulling both Elena and Bonnie close to him. That just caused him two hand marks left on both cheeks. "Cruel."

"Womanizer." Meredith said.

"Why you, I oughta make you suck my-"

"Vervain." She responded, laughing when it cut him off. "Now be quiet."

"I'll get you." He whispered and shied away from yet another impending hand. "Okay okay! I'm quiet!" He said, as the TV series' Damon threw Stefan out the window.

**Okay, I know this is nothing you expected, but I had a little too much fun writing this not to share it. Hopefully this little chapter made you laugh too. Please, I really need feedback! Reviews are nice. :)**

**~Kyeire~**


	3. Author's Note!

**NO FREAKIN' WAY! Okay, first of all, thanks to those who helped me find where i could watch the episodes. I am already on Episode nine, about halfway through it...**

**Do NOT tell me That _Alaric Saltzman _is going to go out with _Elena's Aunt_! I already see it coming! AND HE'S A VAMPIRE! okay, what else is going to be surprising!**

**And I, like so many other unsuspecting watchers, have fell deeply for HOTness Damon Salvatore! lol. **  
**Here are my top three favorite quotes so far:**

"Dude? Really?...Dude?"

"This is John Vervatos, dude. Dick...move."

"Quit. Move on. Problem solved. Tah Dah! *chuckle*"

**Okay, well I will post the next chapter soon. **

**~Kyeire~**


	4. Another ANhehe

**So It seems everyone is more excited about this story than I thought. Hehe. Sorry to have kept you waiting for so long...I'm still a newbie who's trying her hardest to finish her first story(Finding the Truth)...which is almost done by the way! So, soon, I'll be picking up this story again. Since I've been so busy(being a good student) I've still to apologize sincerely to everyone. I haven't been consistent in my updating. TO you guys, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I'm sorry. :(**

**Well, What this story really needs though is some suggestions! I hadn't expected to carry on for so long with this story.(she sheepishly says) But! Seeing how many people enjoyed what I've already written, how can I deny my readers what they want? so to those who love this story and want to see it continue, there's one thing required...duh, reviews!**

**If you have an idea or suggestion, please get over your shyness to do an agonizing review. Pissy. I'm working my butt of with these stories, the least you can do is give me some feedback. Grr.  
**

**Oh! And there's a poll for this story on my page. Please kindly take five seconds to do that. **

**~Kyeire~  
**


	5. Another AN I Guess

**Um...Long time, eh? I know, I know… I've been neglectful. I'm very sorry. I deeply apologize. **

**Quick update. **

**Kyeire is busy with:  
-original stories on FictionPress  
-Hanging out with family for the holidays  
-trying to get her life on track  
-trying to improve her drawing skills.**

**Kyeire has:  
-BOUGHT AND WATCHED Both season 1 & 2! Yay!  
-Loved every minute of season 1 and season 2.  
-not watched the latest episodes of season 3  
-not forgotten about this story  
-been working on chapters veery slowly for FanFiction**

**So that's basically what's been going on lately. I know it's been forgotten for so long, but I'll try to get back to it! I promise! It's an author's promise! :)**

**~Kyeire~**


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